Jack Sparrow and the Monkey Poop Coffee

Before I go any further, tell your friends, family, blog readers, dreaded enemies, arch nemesis and 2nd grade teacher to enter the Celebrity Lookalike contest. Email me, bitches!

Today, we’re talking about coffee. Again. Because you freaks love to discuss the java. But today, we also talk about poop.

Our last family vacation a couple weeks ago, hubby and I went out to dinner. I know, stop the presses. But actually, with the crazy summer and whatnot, I mean, we didn’t even go out for our anniversary. We just don’t make it out for dinner, just the two of us, very often.

Oh, put your violins away.

So, since we hadn’t been out in quite a long time, we went to a place at the Lake we’d never been before. Not that we didn’t want to go to this place but, it’s expensive. And, well, there are a lot of places to eat around the Lake, tons in fact, and we can strap on the feedbag and have an awesome meal for a lot less money. But, this is the kind of place where you could NOT get out of there for less than a hundred twenty bucks plus for two people. Thus, not something we do very often because, at least for me, I always think of about eighteen things I need to buy for the house, the kids, yadda yadda....you know how it goes.

But sometimes, I guess you just decide to splurge. So we did. I didn’t find their menu available online, but it’s a nice place to eat where the service is excellent, and the food was completely fantastic. We both quite enjoyed what we got.

Hubby and I also do a fair amount of people watching when we go out to eat. My favorite restaurant game is like from Sesame Street that one where it's "one of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong" and try to find the most mismatched diner in the joint. (***This game is equally fun in both greasy spoons and fancy schmnacy dining establishments - Try it!***)

On this particular evening, we had a clear winner. Now, there wasn't a dress code for this place or anything, but hey, even I put on deodorant! Our favorite guy ended up being the fella with the cutoff jeans shorts (homemade, he's crafty!), 2006 NASCAR Talladega t-shirt, in need of a shave and the look was topped off with a red do-rag wrapped around his noggin, which made him look like a pirate.

So, the rest of the night hubby and I either referred to him as "NASCAR guy" or "Jack Sparrow" and talked in pirate talk because we do stupid crap like that to entertain ourselves. Since he was sitting behind me, hubby had to give me updates as to what NASCAR Jack Sparrow was up to. I want that guy to go on Big Brother next year because anybody who goes dressed like that to go to the place we were just doesn't give a rat's ass about anything, so I want to watch that guy in a house full of people who all turned out to be whacked! Anyway...

Then later, I was just sort of skimming the menu…

Me: Hey, there’s a cup of coffee on here that’s fifty bucks a cup.
Hubby: Really?
Me: I bet it’s that monkey poop coffee.
Hubby: (puzzled…then light bulb clicks on) oh yeah, those one monkeys.
Me: Yeah, the ones that eat the beans and poop it out so it’s more refined or whatever.
Hubby: Let’s call Andy (BIL) and he can Google it since we don’t have a computer here.
**Dials BIL. Hands me phone.**
Me: Dude, look up that monkey poop coffee. I think they have it on the menu here. Yeah, it’s fifty bucks a cup.

He looks it up and we compare notes. Yes. It was indeed monkey poop coffee.
I feel something akin to stumbling across the Holy Grail. Because, I have a distant yet abiding fascination with the monkey poop coffee.

First, no, we did not order a cup or even one each of the monkey poop coffee.
Second, would you ever try it? Provided you didn’t have to hand over the cash??